


don’t leave me tonight (or ever)

by brokenheartsclub



Series: deaf matteo supremacy [2]
Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Deaf Character, Deaf Matteo Supremacy, Depressive Thoughts, Fluff, M/M, Sleep Deprivation, Sleepy Cuddles, basically: they are tired & need each other to sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:36:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29644494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenheartsclub/pseuds/brokenheartsclub
Summary: "Let me grab my hearing—" Matteo started, beginning to pull himself off of David but was cut off by David tightening his grip around his waist. David pulled Matteo back flush against his chest, shaking his head. Matteo maneuvered himself to look at David with a confused expression, head tilted ever so slightly. “I just want to be able to talk to you.”David pressed the tip of his finger against Matteo’s button nose, shaking his head again. Matteo narrowed his eyes as he tried to read David’s facial and body expressions for clues as to what David was trying to say.His boyfriend was sprawled out beneath him, an arm wrapped tightly around his waist and a finger from his free hand pressed against his nose. His face was relaxed, eyes swarming with the same love that Matteo felt exploding within his chest but the eyebags beneath them told Matteo that they were both feeling exhausted. Then it clicked.“You just want to be withme.”“You, not who you pretend to be.”—alternatively: Matteo and David haven’t spent time together in weeks, life keeping them apart. On a particularly bad night, David asks Matteo to take a shower and runs across town to hold his boyfriend.
Relationships: Matteo Florenzi/David Schreibner
Series: deaf matteo supremacy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2129415
Comments: 10
Kudos: 46





	don’t leave me tonight (or ever)

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i got a wonderful anon about a prompt where david runs across town to snuggle w/ matteo because he misses him. i got my lil’ grubby hands on it & made it depressed deaf matteo as one does. 
> 
> with that said, this is unbeta’d & raw-dogged. there’s way too many “warmth”, “comfort”, and “ached” because i’m gay, depressed, and, yearning. 
> 
> enjoy! come catch me at @deafmatteo on tumblr if you ever have prompts/questions/praises/anything, really.
> 
> (kudos and comments are always appreciated <3)

_ ‘i miss you.’ _ __

The text lit up Matteo’s phone that was laying on his pillow, causing him to open his eyes. His body was wrung with exhaustion, his eyes were heavy but sleep refused to aid him. He fumbled for his phone and held it close to his face, eyes squinted to adjust to the bright glare of the phone. 

_ David _ . Matteo’s heart ached. He hadn’t seen his boyfriend in almost three weeks. Their schedules had caught them both in whirlwinds that kept them apart, keeping their time together short and sweet, separated with screens. Matteo rolled onto his side and began to reply one-handed, his other hand rubbing away the exhaustion of his eyes. 

_ ‘shouldn’t u be asleep?‘ _

He waited a few moments before sending a second text. 

_ ‘i miss u too’ _

The speech bubble popped up within a second. Matteo stayed in his slightly uncomfortable position just because he was afraid of rolling back over and sinking into a dream-like state that would tire him out even more. Every moment that he had with David was a moment that he needed to be awake for. There were days where Matteo was afraid that David would get too used to the comfortable silence without him and leave. It was all he had once—what if he missed it?

_ ‘can we call?’  _

Without a second thought, Matteo reached over and turned on his lamp. He opened his laptop that was sitting on his night table and opened it to FaceTime. He adjusted his body to lean against his arm, propping himself up enough that he could lazily sign or talk to David without having to move much. By the second ring, David had picked up. 

Every time Matteo saw his boyfriend, he was struck with love. Time was slowly creeping by and they were nearly at their two-year anniversary but the butterflies and the high of loving David never left. David was laying on his stomach, head held up by his arms folded beneath it. Matteo could tell he was within inches of sleep and his heart ached. All he wanted was to be with David. 

“Head hurts,” Matteo mumbled, his voice nearly incoherent. In his mind, it sounded clear and concise, but the translation of thoughts to words often faltered as his exhaustion levels grew.

David tapped against his ear with his head tilted to the side and Matteo shook his head, giving him a sympathetic look. An apology— _ I’m sorry that I can’t be normal. I’m sorry that you’re exhausted and you have to work even harder to love me. I’m sorry my ears don’t work. I’m sorry—.  _ His phone went off.

_ ‘not a problem ! <3 how’s your ringing? i know it was bad earlier‘ _

“Better now.” 

_ ‘think you could text? it’s hard to understand you, baby‘ _

Matteo looked down at his phone and a frown deeped on his features, reaching his eyes until they fell shut. It wasn’t very often he would fall into an insecure headspace, as time and therapy had helped him grow more comfortable with himself. However, there were nights like these; where the voices of internalized ableism and insecurities crept up the back of his throat, louder than every positive thought he could ever think of. 

_ ‘yeah sorry’ _

David looked at the message and looked at Matteo, his head tilted in the same way it was earlier. Matteo knew the look; David was trying to pick him apart, find the secrets and the words that Matteo kept buried beneath his skin. There was a vulnerability to being stared at so  _ lovingly.  _ How anyone could stare at him like that was beyond Matteo’s comprehension. He pulled his gaze away from David and within seconds, there was a text message popping up on his phone.

_ ‘hey have u eaten today?’  _ Not a strange text for David to send. He was always so hyper aware of how Matteo moved about and how the way his body curled into itself. He knew Matteo better than Matteo knew himself.

Matteo shook his head. 

_ ‘shower?’  _

Again, he shook his head. 

_ ‘think you could take a shower for me? it could help u relax & fall asleep.’  _ Matteo stared down at the message before turning to David and nodding. He rubbed at his eyes and gave David another nod. He knew his boyfriend was right; the hot water would help relax his tense muscles, the steam of warmth would help aid his cold body to sleepiness rather than exhaustion. If Matteo was even a smidge more tired, he knew his eyes would well up with the thought of how perfect David was. How perfect he was and how perfect Matteo was not. 

_ ‘ok i’ll text u when im out <3 love u’  _

David nodded and gave Matteo the same smile he always does. The one that’s filled with all of the love and admiration that a single soul could possess and Matteo is certain he could combust every time he sees it. There was something so vulnerable about having someone smile at you like that even in the worst of moments. Matteo hung up the call. 

He flopped back down onto his bed for a few minutes, his arms sprawling out beside him and his eyes squeezed shut. Despite how much he loved talking to David and how much he loved being with David and how much he missed being with David, there was a comfort about being alone. Matteo knows it’s just his own depression talking—it’s the familiarity of the loneliness he had before David. 

“Okay, up you get,” he mumbled to himself, mimicking his version of David’s voice. He wasn’t great at impressions; voices became too blended between their lips and his brain and every interpretation could easily be called a fail. He still liked to try, especially with David’s voice. There was a way that his voice felt safe—there was a softness in it that often wrapped Matteo up in a warmth that he could never grow tired of. “Now, into the bathroom. Hog all the water if you want, your roommates deserve it.” 

Matteo let out a slight huff of amusement at his own mimicking of David but a sigh followed shortly after and his shoulders began to sag. When he closed the bathroom door behind him and turned on the light, the sight that greeted him made him wince. He looked like  _ shit _ .

His face was puffy from what he assumed was lack of sleep, eyes glassy with tears of exhaustion. His cheeks were also a flushed red, a sign that often came before he realized he was either spiralling or being overstimulated.

“You look good today,” Matteo mumbled to himself, the warm memory of David whispering that in his kitchen flooding his veins. Whenever he began to pick and pry at the pieces he hated about himself, he tried to think about his boyfriend. About how David always told him he looked good—pretty. About how David swore that Matteo put the stars in the skies every night with just his smile. 

He didn’t believe it but he knew that David did. That was enough for him.

“—Put you there,” Matteo began talking to himself as he placed his phone on the counter with the flash on, angled upwards to create a glow that stretched into the shower. It was bright enough to illuminate close objects and prevent Matteo from getting injured but dim enough to keep him from fixating on himself. 

The water was scalding and Matteo could feel the way it burned down his back but it felt  _ comforting _ . The heat seeped into the pores of his shoulders, dripping down the curves of his back. The tension seemed to drip down to the floor along with the water, spiralling into the drain, and Matteo sighed happily, for the first time in however long it had been. 

It was clear that his body had been aching for longer than he had been paying attention. The relief that his shoulders felt as they cracked beneath the water, popping as he stretched was unmatched. Matteo knew that this is why David wanted him to shower—even on his worst days, a scalding shower sedated his body enough to force him to relax. 

He wasn’t sure how long he had spent beneath the hot water but the cooling of it began to pull him back to his own reality. He had kept his eyes shut, turning every now and then to coat his body with the warm water, melting away the tension and pain. He didn’t bother washing his hair or body, knowing that he’d be able to focus more on it in the morning. He just needed comfort. Warmth. The closest thing he could get to physical touch. 

His heart ached. All he wanted was David. 

He tried pulling all of the warmth out of the water before the cold began to sting at his skin. As soon as the shock began to replace the comfort, he turned off the water and stepped out. Still illuminated by the glow of the phone’s flashlight, he began to dry himself off with his towel. 

He pulled himself back into the same clothes as before, not caring about the logistics of how it made the shower pointless. He wasn’t sure he could call it a shower—it was more of just a  _ hug _ .

Matteo opened his phone to see a text from David, filled with heart emojis. His heart softened. 

_ ‘i miss you so much, you know that? it’s not right sleeping without you’. _

Matteo replied with the pouty-face emoji, knowing that David would understand exactly what he meant. He wanted to reply with a long-winded love letter confessing how it felt wrong to be apart from his love but he could barely think. The tears of exhaustion began to return. 

He pulled the door to a slight close with his socked foot, towel in hand and staring down at the text conversation between him and David. There was no reply. Matteo stopped in his spot and sighed, chalking it up to the consideration that he was most likely asleep. It was nearing four a.m. and he knew that David had a mid-day shift at his job. He shoved his phone into his towel and began walking back towards his room. 

“ _David_?” 

The towel fell out of Matteo’s hands. He lifted a hand to rub at his eyes, swearing that his loneliness was getting to him but it wasn’t. David was  _ here _ . Here, sitting on the edge of Matteo’s bed, something in his hand and the stupid smile of his.

David held up his key lanyard and Matteo just  _ laughed _ . He laughed with disbelief, with love, with every single emotion that had been so long gone that he worried they wouldn’t ever come back. 

He threw himself at David, knocking them both down until they were sprawled out on the bed, Matteo's entire body pinning David's down. They adjusted themselves silently until Matteo was perfectly tucked into David, face buried into David's neck, legs dangling off of the edge of the bed but  _ still  _ intertwined with David's.

“Missed you,” David mumbled against the side of Matteo’s damp hair, wrapping his arms comfortably around Matteo's waist. He moved his face to press against Matteo's shoulder, the cotton of  _ his _ grey sweater rubbing against his cheek. The smell of marijuana and stale sweat welcomed his nose and he wrinkled it slightly, mostly out of worry for Matteo. They hadn't been with each other in weeks except for pixelated ' _ I love you _ 's and blurry selfies.

Matteo pulled away slowly with shut eyes, almost as if he opened his eyes, David would disappear and he would be left alone with just his blankets. When he opened his eyes, David was still staring at him with a mixed expression—worry but mostly love. 

"Let me grab my hearing—" Matteo started, beginning to pull himself off of David but was cut off by David tightening his grip around his waist. David pulled Matteo back flush against his chest, shaking his head. Matteo maneuvered himself to look at David with a confused expression, head tilted ever so slightly. “I just want to be able to talk to you.”

David pressed the tip of his finger against Matteo’s button nose, shaking his head again. Matteo narrowed his eyes as he tried to read David’s facial and body expressions for clues as to what David was trying to say. 

His boyfriend was sprawled out beneath him, an arm wrapped tightly around his waist and a finger from his free hand pressed against his nose. His face was relaxed, eyes swarming with the same love that Matteo felt exploding within his chest but the eyebags beneath them told Matteo that they were both feeling exhausted. Then it clicked. 

“You just want to be with  _ me _ .” 

“You, not who you pretend to be.” David mouthed, adding a few key movements to help aid Matteo in his understanding of what he was saying. Matteo tilted his head again in confusion and David nodded, holding up a finger as if to say ‘ _ wait’ _ . He grabbed his phone that was across the bed but in arms reach enough for him to grab it without asking Matteo to move. He began typing frantically before displaying the screen to Matteo. 

_ i came here to be with my boyfriend. not the boy who he pretends to be. _

All of the negative feelings that had been building tension in Matteo’s body seemed to drip away as he read every word David had typed, over and over again. This was one of the moments where Matteo realized just how  _ well _ David knew him. Matteo hadn’t even realized that he was attempting to cater to David’s world, changing to fit in, even with the boy who never wanted him to change. Matteo nodded and pulled himself up to allow David to move to lay on the bed comfortably, peeling off his jacket in the process and pulling the blanket far enough back to allow both of them fit into the empty space. 

“That’s my sweater.” The words followed a silence as David held his arms open for Matteo, the grey hood of the sweater pulled slightly over his eyes. David didn’t reply beyond pointing at Matteo, who was also wearing his boyfriend’s sweater. Matteo looked down and shrugged. Their wardrobes were mixed and matched, to the point where he wasn’t ever certain if things were his or David’s. He didn’t mind—there was something comforting about having pieces of his boyfriend close to him when the world was determined to keep them apart. 

“I missed you,” the blond spoke as he crawled into his boyfriend’s arms, settling himself in the perfect position. He wanted to giggle at how even though they’ve been apart for weeks, their bodies still fell into the same comfortable position each time. Two pieces of the same heart, the same  _ being _ . They laid in silence, Matteo’s grip against David’s side tight and unwavering, almost as if he was too scared to let go. David threaded his hands through Matteo’s hair, dragging his fingernails against the boy’s scalp in a calming, habitual way. Matteo had once asked David if there was a specific routine he always followed because he swore the comfort felt the same each time yet David said there wasn’t. Matteo just then began to assume it was the comfort of his presence. 

“Can you hum for me?” Matteo asked, dragging his hand from being curled around David’s side, up his chest, and around his neck. His fingers lined up to rest just below the curve of David’s jaw, thumb stretched across his throat and pressed against the opposite side. 

Matteo could feel David’s laughter and it flooded his body with the warmth of happiness. His throat bobbed against the pressure of Matteo’s hand, a vulnerability of love that couldn’t exist outside of the walls of their relationship. David had once joked that Matteo could choke him easily and that he needed to be careful but never complained. He knew it was the closest way that Matteo could get to his voice in moments like this. 

“I love you,” Matteo mumbled, face buried into David’s chest, fingers twitching ever so slightly against the coarseness of David’s stubbly neck. He didn’t want to sleep but his body felt the most relaxed it had been in weeks. He was _home_. 

David continued to hum.

  
  



End file.
